Becoming a better lover is not an easy task, it requires time and effort and above all communication. Nobody is born with the knowledge to please every woman, although sometimes it sure seems that some guys were.
There are many different aspects to pleasing your lover, in this article I will be covering only one of those. Here I will show you some tried and true techniques to manually stimulate a woman.
Many men overlook fingering and many women do the same. But I’m here to tell you that your hands can provide an incredible amount of pleasure if you just know how to work them properly. But keep in mind that every woman out there has different likes and dislikes for how she likes to be touched.
There’s nary a woman that will let you just take her pants off and go to town, no matter how much she loves you. This isn’t always due to an emotional barrier but more of a ‘frictional’ one. There is an old saying that the brain is the body’s largest sex organ, and if you don’t get that going then her vagina won’t be ready either. And if her vagina’s not ready then too much friction could be very uncomfortable, even downright painful. So take your time, don’t be in a rush.
There’s one more thing I would like to bring up before I share a couple great techniques with you. As I already mentioned, all women have different preferences for what they enjoy sexually. Some women can have a full orgasm solely from g-spot stimulation, with no clitoral attention at all. Other women can’t reach orgasm without at least some clitoral stimulation. And as unfortunate as it is, some women can’t reach orgasm at all, no matter the stimulation and time. But to improve her chances make sure you keep the lines of communication open and pay attention to her reaction.
The techniques I will go over here are just guidelines, remember to change them as necessary for the situation and the woman you’re with.
1) The Classic
If you’ve ever fingered a woman then you’ve probably used this simple technique. But just because it is standard and easy doesn’t mean it’s not effective, in fact this is one that for most women is guaranteed to get the job done.
After you know she’s properly moist you take your index and middle fingers and work them in a circular motion around the clit. Make sure you let her know to keep you informed on her situation, some women love constant clitoral stimulation until climax but some love a bit more variety. She may want you to use those fingers and go inside her for a while before returning to her clit. Pay attention to her reactions and listen to what she has to say.
Don’t go too fast at first and always keep a good rhythm, breaking rhythm will interrupt her engagement in the moment and possibly prevent her from climaxing. Unless, of course, she wants you to, then by all means, do as she asks.
2) Doubling Up
This is a very powerful technique but before you attempt it make sure you can rub your stomach and pat your head at the same time. When you are able to do that you need to place yourself between the girl?s legs while she is lying on her back or sitting, you can also sit to one side or the other.
With one hand you move your fingers in a thrusting motion inside her vagina and with the other hand you a make circular motion around her clit. To be able to more easily pull this one off without losing your smooth tempo you might want to start with only one hand or the other and when you’re in the groove slowly add the second hand.
Even though each hand needs to keep its own rhythm, nobody says both hands need to follow the same beat. Vary it, find what gets the best reaction and remember to always listen to what she has to say.
3) Using Fingering Sex Toys
There’s nothing wrong with looking outside the human body for a little help and variety in your manual stimulation. There are a few different main options that you have available to you.
The first option is aptly called a finger, these are typically made of jelly or silicone and are similar in shape to thimbles but tend to be placed over your index and middle fingers. They are ribbed or covered in little nubs which provide added stimulation over the bare finger alone.
Clit vibrators such as bullets are often used by women for masturbation, but don’t think for a second that they can’t be used by a partner for added pleasure. Some bullets even come with their own covers, very similar to the fingers explained above but made to fit snugly over a small vibrating bullet. 3)
The Variety is in the Sex Toys
We all enjoy some variety, always sticking to the same things will get a bit dull. And to help keep you interested in fingering your partner maybe you should think about trying out some sex toys.
There are many options but keeping to the theme, I will go over two different types. The first type is aptly called a finger, these little guys fit over your fingertip, are made of rubber or silicone and usually have bumps or ticklers on them to up the stimulation level.
A second option is the world famous vibrating bullet. These are very commonly known for women using them to masturbate. But don’t think they can’t be used just as easily to please your partner, and to take it even further you can place the fingers mentioned above over the bullet!
My Final Word
If you want to truly become a better lover you need to think about variety, keeping things new, always trying new things. Practice makes perfect and that holds true, even in the sexual world. Pleasure comes in many variations and there are always more to find and explore. so don’t let yourself get caught in a rut, go out and find to ways to please your lover, it’s what will set you apart from all the other ‘average joes’.
Don’t forget, there are numerous different sex toys out there such as rabbit vibrators for girls and the familiar line of fleshlights for men, so give different toys a try, they can really spice up your sex life.
And one last thing, some women don’t produce enough of their own lubricant so always keep a supply of water-based lube on hand!
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